I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
