He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
