Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
