I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
