i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
