love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize