all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
