...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
