Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize