I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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