OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Randomize
