pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
i think i just lost a toe
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
