i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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