And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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