I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
