you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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