i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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