I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize