found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
