Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
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