i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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