it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
