I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize