We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
