where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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