Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
