Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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