come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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