I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
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