their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Don't make out with my wife yet
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
