As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
