@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
