Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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