is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
