1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
i came on her dog
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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