After last night, I could never be a politician.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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