I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
