Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize
