Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
