...so i touched it.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
