Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
