So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
