More tranny stories later!
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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