yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
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