Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
