omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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