You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
