North Korea, Best Korea!
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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