I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
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