So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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