he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
