Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
