Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Dear god my vagina.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
