I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
this just has baby written all over it
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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