God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
