Who did Billy Mays play for?
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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