I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize
