I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
