I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize