Define "chronic" masturbator.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
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