On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
We don't watch enough power rangers
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
