My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
