my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
