I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
